Will I Ever Settle?

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Originally Published on Aqua & Ink by Katrina Luder

This week I’ve been suffering with an extreme case of itchy feet. Of course we’re talking in the travel sense of the term… I’m not sat here with a literal scratch in my hooves. I’m just feeling ready to permanently attach a backpack to my frame and set off on another adventure.

I’ve been part of the grind in Melbourne for eleven months now, facing tram commutes and tea fixes daily. I’ve watched my career take a massive leap, which will no doubt benefit my resume for the foreseeable future. I’ve been working out of both passion and need; my passion for the work that I’m doing and my need to fill my bank account ready for the next adventure. Yet although I know this job and lifestyle is an enjoyable means-to-an-end, I can’t shake the feeling of frustration I feel for having been in one place for so long. It almost feels like I’ve come to a stand still—not a great feeling for a travel blogger, I assure you.

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In this ten months of being “settled,” I’ve managed to squeeze in four epic holidays to The Whitsundays, New Zealand, Indonesia and Lady Elliot Island, not to mention I also managed to jump out of a perfectly functioning plane, get my PADI open water certificate and go on some epic road trips down The Great Ocean Road. I’ve hardly been “settled” or “stationary” for very long, but I’ve still not been able to cope.

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In the age of avo and kale, part of me thinks that I’m just a walking millennial cliché. I’m never happy with what I’ve got and I’m always on the hunt for more. I’ve grown up in a world of digital, meaning FOMO is real and my daily scrolling through social media just makes me realize how much of this world I’ve not yet encountered. My upbringing taught me that I can have whatever I set my mind to and that this youth-centric society will favor my ambition, yet my impatience to see the world is leading me to be unappreciative of what I’ve already got.

In all honesty, I think most of our generation has adopted this state in one way or another. Whether it’s our use of the phrase “I can’t wait to see you” or how you “need a dog now.” We’ve become somewhat impatient and unappreciative of what we currently have in anticipation for the next big milestone.

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Will my desire to move on to the next thing ever stop? Is it a bad thing if it doesn’t? Whilst my flair for travel and doing more is actually one of my favorite traits, I am a little anxious that I’ll never be able to settle. Will I ever be truly happy with what I’ve got now that I’ve been given a taste of everything else that’s out there?

I have a leave date from work, and whilst I’ll be super sad to leave the amazing company that has nurtured me and trusted me (even on my not-so-attractive working holiday visa), I just can’t wait for the next five weeks to fast-forward so I can board my flight back to Asia. But with only five weeks left in the country I’ve called home for over a year and a half, I’ve realized that I need to start taking minuscule baby steps towards a one-man positivity mission regarding my current fulfillment.

The first of my baby steps, I hear you say? To start appreciating what I’ve got. Every day, as I’m struggling with wanderlust, I’ll sit and think of all the wonderful things I am currently doing and being surrounded with that I can be appreciative of… whilst still allowing myself to get a little excited for my upcoming adventures.

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